


Ligur Reincorporated

by gallopingmelancholia



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:00:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21832576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallopingmelancholia/pseuds/gallopingmelancholia
Summary: When Adam reset the world, Ligur came back to life. He had no memory of being Holy Watered, and he was very puzzled to find himself in Crowley’s flat around midnight. Crowley and the angel were there, sitting closely together and talking intently about something. They were just as surprised to see him as he was to see them.“Uh?” Crowley said after Ligur picked himself up off of the floor. The tartan thermos took that opportunity to disappear from Crowley’s table of its own volition. The bucket fucked off to who knows where.“Crowley,” Ligur said. “Heard you was fraternizing with the enemy. And here he is.”The enemy looked mildly annoyed to have been interrupted.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 128





	Ligur Reincorporated

When Adam reset the world, Ligur came back to life. He had no memory of being Holy Watered, and he was very puzzled to find himself in Crowley’s flat around midnight. Crowley and the angel were there, sitting closely together and talking intently about something. They were just as surprised to see him as he was to see them.

“Uh?” Crowley said after Ligur picked himself up off of the floor. The tartan thermos took that opportunity to disappear from Crowley’s table of its own volition. The bucket fucked off to who knows where.

“Crowley,” Ligur said. “Heard you was fraternizing with the enemy. And here he is.”

The enemy looked mildly annoyed to have been interrupted.

“I thought you said when they got Holy Watered they disappeared forever. Poof, gone.”

“I thought that’s what happened too,” Crowley said.

“Wot’s he talking ‘bout?” Ligur said.

“You were gone, mate,” Crowley replied. “I got you with a bucket of holy water not twelve hours ago. You made a dreadful mess.”

“You got the drop on me? Unlikely.”

“I did! A bucket above the door, like in a cartoon or something. Really embarrassing for you.”

“Hastur?”

“Nah, he made it out. Got discorporated in the Bentley, last I know. Might have his body back by now. Why don’t you go back to Hell and check on him?”

“Not yet. You’re a traitor. I’m gonna have to bring you in for court martial.”

“Yyyeaaaaahhhh, about that. There’s no war.”

“Wot?” Ligur’s chameleon turned white, drained of all blood.

“No war. No Armageddon. It’s been indefinitely postponed,” the enemy said.

“No war, no treason, no court martial,” Crowley added.

“How do you know there’s no war?”

“Because we were there when the Antichrist told his Satanic Father that there wasn’t going to be a war. That’s why you’re alive now, I reckon. He’s putting everything back as it was. So, you’re welcome for this new chance at life. Please leave my flat.”

“You…you saw the Antichrist?”

“Of course I saw him. Very nice young man. Not demonic at all. Quite human.”

Ligur recoiled. “Ugh. Humans.”

“Well, really. If you don’t like them then why are you on Earth?” the angel asked. He looked offended. Apparently he was fond of humans. And wine, for he and Crowley both had large glasses of dark red wine. If Ligur didn’t know any better, he’d have thought he’d interrupted date night. He had a vague idea of what humans did, their strange courtship rituals; it was necessary to be able to corrupt them. But he’d never heard of angels or demons dating each other. Or even enjoying human food and drinks. But then he remembered something Crowley had said.

“The Antichrist rejected his destiny?”

“Yep.”

“He rejected his father?”

“Yep.”

“You saw Lucifer?”

“Yep. Not looking his best, I’ve gotta say,” Crowley said.

“You should probably check on him, I’m sure he’s taking it very hard,” the angel said helpfully.

Ligur paused for a moment. His chameleon turned yellow. Cautious.

“Or you could just leave. Doesn’t matter if you see Satan or not. We’ve had rather a long day and would like to relax and you’re not especially good company.”

Ligur frowned. His chameleon turned blue.

“Well then what was the last 6000 years for, then? We just put in all that work for nuffin?”

“Afraid so.”

“But then, what do we do now?”

“Aziraphale and I are going to finish this nice bottle of wine. Then I’m going to sleep, I don’t know about him.”

“I will be joining you,” Aziraphale said.

“He’ll be joining me,” Crowley continued. “You are free to go. Do whatever you want, now’s the time for vacation. Everything’s all in a muddle. They probably don’t even know you’re alive again. You could disappear forever and live among the humans if you wanted.”

Aziraphale looked a little wistful at that. Crowley squeezed his shoulder. These freaks probably wanted to live like humans too. Madness.

“If I were you I’d go to America,” Crowley said.

“Absolutely not. A black man in America? I’d be killed.”

Crowley just smiled nastily.

“Well it doesn’t matter to me what you do with your afterlife. Just stay away from us, yeah? We’re busy,”

“They’re not gonna let you get away wiv this.”

“All the more reason for you to leave, so we can enjoy the time we have left.”

He slung an arm around the angel’s shoulders and raised his eyebrows at Ligur suggestively. Ligur and his chameleon turned bright pink.

“Disgusting.”

“We didn’t ask your opinion,” Aziraphale said primly.

“Seriously, mate, get wherever you’re going. Last call, party’s over. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.”

“I—“

“I’ve still got holy water,” Crowley said. “I can get it right this second and leave you a stinking puddle on the floor again.”

“Please don’t. I’d have to clean it up, you couldn’t touch it, and I don’t need that tonight,” Aziraphale said.

“But—“

“Why don’t you leave justice to our superiors and go on your merry way? I’m sure you’ve got something better to do than hang around here watching us sleep.”

Ligur laughed. He doubted they’d be sleeping. Disgusting. He’d have to tell Michael about this.

“You two won’t get away wiv this. This one here—“ he pointed at Aziraphale— “is gonna be in big trouble. They weren’t happy with you at all, Halo.”

“How did you hear he was consorting with me?” Aziraphale asked.

“What?”

“Did you hear that yesterday? I was told that Heaven knew about it yesterday, but I didn’t know Hell knew.”

“Yeah, hang on, in the cinema you said you were coming after me about the Antichrist thing, not about Aziraphale,” Crowley said.

“I—“

“And then when you came into the flat you mentioned this.” He gestured between himself and Aziraphale. “What happened between the cinema and then?”

Aziraphale’s eyes widened. “OH. You have a connection with Heaven, don’t you? You’re fraternizing too!”

Crowley looked surprised for a flash of a second, then turned to face Ligur with his mouth open dramatically. “Say it isn’t so, Ligur!”

“No, I—“ he started to say, not knowing how he’d finish that sentence.

“Was it Sandalphon? Gabriel? Surely not Michael,” Aziraphale said.

Ligur twitched.

“Michael?!”

“Lissen, mate, I don’t know what you’re talkin about.”

“Well look at this kettle calling us pots treasonous,” Crowley said.

“It’s not like—“

Crowley and Aziraphale merely took simultaneous sips of wine from their glasses, watching him try to stammer out an explanation. His chameleon was flashing several different pale colors in quick rotation.

“I don’t owe you nuffin,” he finally said. “I’m leaving.”

“Finally!”

“Good!”

“Don’t let the door hit your wings on the way out.”

“Tell Michael I said hi,” Aziraphale said.

“And tell Uriel that his boyfriend in the dark glasses says hi too,” Crowley added. Aziraphale smiled brightly and turned slightly pink. Ligur felt his chameleon going pink in sympathy. Humiliating, what just happened. Getting exposed by two traitorous weirdos.

Maybe he should go into hiding. Among the humans? No. Somewhere in space? Perhaps. Far away from those two, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I want Ligur back.


End file.
